Pirates of the Multiplex

Being a dutiful Johnny Depp fan, last night I went to see Pirates Of The Caribbean: Dean Man's Chest. I was going to write about how utterly dissapointing the film was, but Josh and Josh summed it up for me perfectly:

Here's what you need to know about Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man's Chest: It's 150 minutes long, and during approximately 148 of those minutes you will be bored, uninterested, uninvested, and praying that it'll eventually "get good" and be more like its predecessor. Eventually you just pray for the credits to roll.

You'll be waiting a long time.

Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man's Chest is officially going on my list of Ten Most Disappointing Movies of 2006. (It shall reside in the slot next to King Kong.)

Johnny Depp was funny, but not funny enough to save the film. They didn't make me care about the characters, the story and plot were wimpier and thinner than Mary-Kate Olsen, and the creators apparently didn't realize that having constant action isn't a solution for not being at all interesting.

But, hey, maybe the third one (coming out next summer, I kid you not) will be better.

Maybe.

Then again, maybe not.

The first installment I thought was Jerry Bruckheimer's first step at artistic reformation. Now I see it was a fluke.

I rate it a generous 5-to-5 1/2. It didn't help that theater showed the entire film slightly out-of-focus, despite complaints to the management.